i always have this thought, that if i suddenly disappear(or die) from this world

would the person i love most know that he's the most important in my life?

last time this year i was a foolish girl.

it was a beginning of foolish behaviourS. yes with a capital S.

but things have since been different, very different.

the first time i met him we were at his friend's place drinking. it was new year's eve eve.

we didn't talk much, i was kinda shy. i kept looking at him talk thou. he had this very boy face and very boy voice :) i left pretty early that day. so it was new year's eve the next day and i was texting everyone to have a good new year blah blah blah... then i thought if i should msg him. but then again i didn't get his number through him. it was cos boon's phone low batt, so he used his phone to call me. he definitely made some kinda impression on me. but i didn't send that text to him in the end. although it was just like a friendly text of well-wishes, i didn't want him to think that i was siao or something. and what if he had a girlfriend? so i just went to bed early while everyone partied through the new year because i had a bloody early morning flight.

so 2 months on and we haven't had any kind of contact until boon's birthday. i was kinda late as i rushed from flight. was entering del mar when i saw him. i wasn't even expecting or thinking that he'd be there. so i was like an excited siao char bo and i kinda like just shouted his name. but it was just a lackluster 'oh eh hi'. i felt abit embarrassed and a little sad. but i was there for my friend's party and soon forgot about it. but then he was a real distraction. it was like 'eh he's here.how how how.' then we were drinking drinking... then we talked abit. and suddenly we were the 2 goons going over to my friend's pub. actually i was the goon. i was super drunk and kept vomiting. he was so kind to send me all the way back to westwood. which was really far from his house in hougang.

so the next day, i text him saying that i was really sorry and thank you and everything. and we haven't stopped contacting since then. so we arranged to meet that weekend to chill and look for a present for boon. and it definitely was an unforgettable first meeting. because we got fined for throwing cigg butts on the floor outside wheelock! haha. very sway. by this time, of course i knew he didn't have a gf! grrreat! but i would have my insecurities.

then i shifted down to my old place at Telok Blangah. it really is a blessing in disguise. imagine hougang - westwood? and god was really kind. he posted him to a camp so near my place. so near that the bus he takes to VivoCity needs to pass my place. so i waited for him at the busstop to board the same bus almost everyday. either that or we'd drink till late or hang out for movies and stuff. so i went to his place quite often and we'd just chill. weekends we'd play poker/mahjong at his place and i'd leave late or stay over. There was once i drank too much and we played mahjong. my head was gonna explode and i just slept once i hit the bed. i took up the whole bed and he was sweet enough not to wake me up. i woke up and saw him sleeping on the floor. haha.

we definitely got closer. i liked this guy. but i had issues that i was clearing up. i wanted the best relationship. no lies, nothing to hide, no trust issues. which is what i have now :) so there was once when we were on the cab home to his place and class95 was playing skid row. I found that song so familiar and i liked that song. So he told me it was skid row's i remember you. And till now, it's like our song thing :) oh and there was our first song when we watch paul blart mall cop! HAHA. It was survivor's i can't hold back. I was like 'this song very nice eh'. then he said 'ya nice'. so we liked the same song :)

so over these 2months+, i liked this guy more and more. We contacted all the time, went out with his friends, he drank with my friends, gambled, party and had fun. i said i had my insecurities? yea which was the usual ex-gf. Cos i would have known by then that he really used to love this girl blah blah blah. and of course, i didn't know if he really liked me or treated me as a good friend. i had mixed feelings. so one day, his mum was around my area and picked me up to go to her place. he was still in camp and was waiting in his room. Then he text me and asked if our relationship was kinda weird. It was definitely kinda weird because we were just friends but i was always over at his place and we were always hanging out. It was then that i knew he liked me and he knew i liked him.

But we weren't together that instant. Not even that day nor that week. HAHA. I think he wanted to be sure. By this time i was already very sure. Took care of all my issues and i really liked him. I definitely didn't wanna screw this up. So one day, when we were in his room he asked me the sacred question! I WAS LIKE OVER THE MOOOON. haha i was really happy. Lost for words.

It's been 6months and 5days. We've had our fair share of quarrels and unpleasantness. But its been the happiest time of my life. We always have so much fun together. We drink, pub, sing, club, online shop together, watch gossip girl at home and do all the silly things together. And my first time to phuket with him. It's a great deal, to me :) I am not the easiest person to live with and to be with. So thank you for your great tolerance.

I love you Jansen.

You're the most important person in my life that i cannot not have,

always and forever.

and its important that you should know :)

you're special.

you never fail to make me smile with every text message you send

really retardedly special. heehee

i know you're smiling and loving me even more now

sometimes i tend to over-think

i guess everybody feels this way sometimes

this love, theres no turning back.

we're gonna be happy together

we're gonna be limitless together

we're gonna be precious together

i know it cos you never fail to make me smile

i see a lifetime of dreams come true, me and you.

anything for you okay? is what you always say silly boy

and how you always say you love me so very much

all the messages i have in my phone,

i could compile them into a book.

like; silly boy & sweet girl :)

i've never been a happier girl. Enjoying every moment with my silly boy.

this video i made is actually for our 1st month. 

and my silly boy bought a pair of liverpool tickets for us!

it was totally unexpected. i was overrrrrr the moon

thank you baby :)

this time, its gonna be my always and forever.